BadgeFor.Me is a satirical marketing site for a fictional “Presence-as-a-Service™” company — one that promises to send certified Attendance Engineers to collect your work badge, drive it to the office, scan it at statistically natural intervals throughout the day, and return it before you’d notice. Your employer’s access system logs you as present. You never left your couch. No laws broken — probably.

The site is built entirely without a framework: a single HTML file, hand-rolled CSS with custom properties and a design system that could pass for any real enterprise SaaS landing page, and a few hundred lines of vanilla JS. It covers the full playbook — hero with a live “attendance console” mockup, four-step “How It Works” explainer, a fictional AI infrastructure section (PresenceGPT™, CommuteAvoidanceML™, seven systems total), three pricing tiers, and a twelve-question FAQ that manages to stay deadpan throughout.

The joke only lands if the design is credible. It uses the same visual language as the corporate RTO memos it’s mocking: white backgrounds, system-blue accents, Inter-ish type stack, tasteful rounded cards. The absurdity is in the copy, not the layout.

Why

Return-to-office mandates became a fixture of 2024–2025 tech news — companies demanding in-person presence while simultaneously investing in distributed tooling and monitoring software to verify that presence. The implicit message: we don’t trust you to work from home, but we do trust a badge scan to prove you were productive.

BadgeFor.Me is a response to that. If you’re going to measure presence instead of output, why not just commoditize the presence? The idea was too funny not to build — and building a polished, corporate-looking marketing site for a fictional badge-scanning service felt like the right form for the joke.